What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it? Post Office!
Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
What kind of berry has a coloring book? A crayon-berry
Why is Basketball such a messy sport? Because you dribble on the floor!
Why did the tree go to the dentist? To get a root canal.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him!
Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalized? Reports say it was due to too many strokes.
What did a sign say outside the pet shop? Buy 1 dog get 1 flea!
Knock Knock
Who's There?
I eat grape.
I eat grape who?
You eat grey poo!
What pet makes the loudest noise? A trum-pet!
What does Minnie Mouse drive?
A Minnie van!
Did you know vampires aren’t real?
Unless you Count Dracula.
Why did the cake grow a daisy?
It was made with flower.
What did the earth say to all the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
Did you hear the joke about the roof? Never mind, it's over your head!
Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.
What washes up on very small beaches? Microwaves!
Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score.
What is a tree's favorite drink? Root beer!
What kind of jokes do you make in the shower? Clean Jokes!
What did the tie say to the hat? A. You go on ahead and I'll hang around
What did the triangle say to the circle? Your pointless!
Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue.
Where do cows go on December 31st?
A moo year’s eve party.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
What did Delaware? a New Jersey
What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller.
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
What did one math book say to the other?
I’ve got so many problems.
What has one horn and gives milk?
A milk truck.
What event do spiders love to attend?
Webbings.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack? An abdominal snowman.
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!
What is the tallest building in the world? The library! It has the most stories!
What kind of button won't unbutton? A bellybutton!
What do you cal purple when it is being mean? Violent.
What do you call a South American girl who is always in a hurry? Urgent Tina
What do you call a European Bigfoot?
Bigmeter.
Why doesn't iron form a good bond with other metals?
Because it has rust issues!
What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly? It barked with de-light!
How do billboards talk?
Sign language.
What garment are you most likely to spot a house in?
Address
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go MOO!
Why did the God of Thunder need to stretch his muscles so much when he was a kid?
He was a little Thor.
Which month do soldiers hate most? The month of March!
Why did the log fall into a creek? Because that's how it ROLLS!
What do you call a crushed angle? a rectangle
What’s Thanos’ favorite app to talk to friends?
Snap chat.
What do you call a magician on a plane? A flying sorcerer!
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