Do perfumes expire?
In essence, they do.
What must a witty perfume have?
Scents of humor.
The perfume was very cheap.
It's price was in cents.
What's it called when a perfume climbs up the stairs?
Ascent.
France gave perfumes to countries it dominated in the past...
That was classic Colognialism.
Why do perfumes always hang out in pairs?
Because they don't want to get cologne-ly!
I just broke my wife’s favorite perfume bottle, she’s gonna be fuming!
I don't like strong perfumes...
I guess I'm inscentsitive.
What is the most disgusting perfume ever made?
Eau de colon.
If a wine connoisseur is called a sommelier then a perfume connoisseur should be called a smellier.
So Chanel is making a new perfume made entirely of rain water.
It’s called the Weather Chanel.
There's a programme about the history of perfume on TV tonight.
It's on at 8pm on Chanel Number 5!
My sister just bought a set of odorless perfumes.
It doesn’t make any scents.
Did you just hear that perfume bottle talk?
I think it's becoming scentient.
Have you heard what happened to unemployed perfume makers?
They are not making any scents.
What do you call a perfume that missed its deadline?
Eau de too late.
My Buddhist friend just gave me a “Nirvana” scented perfume.
It smells like Teen Spirit.
What do you call it when a doctor puts a camera inside of a bottle of perfume?
A cologne-oscopy.
My wife is furious at me for buying an expensive make-your-own-perfume kit.
But it just made scents to me.
Why did Chanel sue a company which came out with its own "No. 5" perfume?
They thought it was a fragrant violation of the law.
Mother Superior had to crack down on sisters wearing perfume in the convent.
She said she would not tolerate such nun scents.
Police have reported that a baseball themed perfume factory has blown up under mysterious circumstances.
They said it smells like Foul Play.
The magazine my daughter gets each month always smells like perfume. I wondered aloud if they scent it.
Then I realized, of course they sent it. Otherwise it would have never come.
It was breakfast time at the Smiths' house. Linda turned to her husband Frank with an irritated look and said: "I bet you don't remember what today is!"
"Of course I remember!" declared Frank, and hastily left for work.
When he reached his office, he immediately went to his best friend's office and shouted: "Mark, you have to help me - I think it's my wife's birthday today and I completely forgot about it!"
Mark calmed him down and opined that he should send his wife several gifts throughout the day. "That way there is no way she'll realize you just remembered. Besides, pick the right gifts and you'll have a very happy woman on your hands..."
Frank immediately goes and does exactly that, sending his wife a beautiful dress, her favorite perfume and even some sexy lingerie, each delivered to the house every few hours.
When evening came, Frank return to the house beaming with pride, and met his wife standing with a huge smile on her face. "First the beautiful dress, then the perfume I like so much, and then even some sexy lingerie! You really surprised me my love!"
"Think nothing on it my love, happy-"
"My mother was so surprised when I picked her up in a brand new outfit!"
A student comes up to the professor, "What is this, why did you grade me an 80?"
The professor looks at the exam again, "Yep, an 80 is what you deserve."
The student takes the exam back, and asks "If I'll bite my own eye, will you give me an 85?" The professor is surprised, but still he agrees, at which point the student then takes out his glass eye - and bites it.
The shocked professor then takes the exam back, and marks it 85. The student then says "If I'll bite my nose, will you give me a 90?" The professor is once again shocked, "He can't pull out his nose" he thinks to himself. He finally agrees, at which point the student takes out his dentures, and bites his own nose.
The professor then once again takes the exam, and marks the grade 90.
The student then makes another offer: "If I'll get up on this table, and pee the perfume Coco Chanel on you, will you give me a 100?"
The professor now has to see what this kid can do, so he agrees. The student goes on the table, and pees all over the professor, the professor's shirt is soaking wet, as he goes to to sniff it. "What the hell?! This isn't Coco Chanel! This is piss!"
"Fine, we'll leave it at 90." said the grinning student.
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