Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Nice pumpkins!
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
What do you get when a raven flies into a group of 18 crows?
Corvid-19.
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
Which Pokémon has Covid?
Pik-achoo.
John Travolta has been diagnosed with the Corona Virus.
He had chills that were multiplying.
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
What's the difference between Wuhan and Las Vegas?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
Don't worry, the Corona Virus won't last long... It was made in China.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
There’s no trick in these pants.
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
Ok, so if the Corona Virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you?
Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
I wanna bob for your apples.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
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