I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
Nice pumpkins!
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
Dad jokes are like Corona.
Everybody gets It but not everyone can laugh about It.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
What's the difference between Wuhan and Las Vegas?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
Ok, so if the Corona Virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
I really hope corona virus can't spread through s*x
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
What do you get when a raven flies into a group of 18 crows?
Corvid-19.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
There’s no trick in these pants.
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
Which Pokémon has Covid?
Pik-achoo.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
I want a taste of your Milky Way.