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Jokes You Can Only Wish For - Genie Humor!

A woman's husband was cheating on her. The woman and her husband got a divorce and the woman went on with her life hating her ex-husband. One day she found a beautiful lamp tossed in the streets. She picked it up and rubbed it a little bit. Suddenly, a genie popped out of the lamp! The genie said: "I feel that you are married. You have 3 wishes woman, but know that anything you ask for your husband will get as well, only double! Sorry but the rules were written at a more primitive time." 

 
So, the woman thinks of a first wish... 
 
"I want to be rich!"
So, the woman became rich, and the husband became twice as rich!
So, the woman thinks of a second wish...
 
 
"I want to be beautiful!"
So, the woman became beautiful, and the husband became twice as beautiful.
 
"Okay", the genie says. "This is your last wish so be careful what you wish for."
The woman thinks real hard and finally comes to a decision.
 
"I Want You To Scare me HALF To Death!"
 
genie jokes smiling blue genie
A couple were golfing one day on a very exclusive golf course, lined with million-dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball. Don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix!" The wife teed up and put it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said "I told you to watch out for the houses! All right, let's go up there, apologize and see how much this is going to cost." 
 
They walked up, knocked on the door and heard a voice say "Come on in." They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man on the couch said "Are you the people that broke my window?" 
 
"Uh, yeah. Sorry about that." the husband replied. 
 
"No, actually I want to thank you. I'm a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You've released me! I'm allowed to grant three wishes, and I'll give you each one wish and keep the last one for myself." 
 
"Wow, great!" the husband said. "I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life!" 
 
"No problem. It's the least I could do. And you, what do you want?" the genie said, looking at the wife. "I want a house in every country of the world!" she said. 
 
"Consider it done!" the genie replied.
 
"And what's your wish genie, now that you're finally free?" asked the husband. 
 
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't had sex with a woman in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your wife." 
 
The husband looked at the wife and said "Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses honey. I guess I don't care." The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours. Afterwards, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and said "How old is your husband anyway?" 
 
"35," she replied. 
 
"And he still believes in genies? That's amazing!
 
 
 
 
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