Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
There are so many puppies and kitties around the neighbourhood. Perhaps it is because it has been raining cats and dogs for hours.
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
What is known as the world's wettest animal? Rain-deer.
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
Why didn’t the light rain hit the target?
It just mist.
Why did the dad prefer driving in the rain?
Things ran more fluidly.
Q: What do you call a weatherman who farts while he pees?
A. Rain with a little wind and thunder.
How can colors be used to predict the weather?
By their huemidity.
Q: What is the opposite of a cold front?
A: A warm back
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
Q: What’s the fastest way to make a skeleton?
A: Put a leper in a wind tunnel
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
What is a tornado's favorite Elton John song? Candle in the Wind!
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
Q: What's a tornado's favorite game?
A: Twister
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
I'm trying to think of a weather pun, but my mind's kinda cloudy now.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
It started raining coins outside today.
I guess it’s just climate change.
What do you call a weather man that destroys dinosaurs?
A meteorologist
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
The queen’s favorite form of precipitation is the reign.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
Q: What did Julius Caesar’s pet windmill say?
A: I came, I spun, I conquered.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
When moving a piece of furniture at the weather station, you'll be needing four casters.
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
Q: What did the wind turbine say to the engineer after he fixed him?
A: I’m a big fan of your work!
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.