What is a tornado's favorite movie? Gone With the Wind!
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
The best place meteorologists can stop to get a drink on their way home is the isobar.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
What did one raindrop say to the other raindrop?
“My plop is bigger than your plop.”
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
Thunderstorms are shrewd investors. They put their money in a combination of frozen and liquid assets.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
Why did the cloud stay at home? It was feeling under the weather.
When we were young, we had this myth that lightning bolts go all the way to cloud 9.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
Q: Why couldn’t the boy keep his documents open when he left a window open in winter?
A: Because it was too Win+D
Q: What is a wind turbine’s favorite musical group?
A: Air Supply
I tried playing baseball in the fog today.
It was a bit hit and mist.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
I'm trying to break the ice, but you just keep giving me the cold shoulder.
What was one raindrop overheard saying to another? Two's company, three's a cloud.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
What do you call a dinosaur that got stuck in the rain?
A driplodocus.
It was so hot that the bee's perm had become extremely unmanageable, so she turned into a frizzbee.
Want to hear a joke about weather?
Actually, never mind. I'll just save it for a rainy day.
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
Q: What do you call a freezing bird?
A: Brrrrrrrrrdddd
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
Why did the woman go outdoors with her purse open?
Because she expected some change in the weather.
Nowadays, people drought the accuracy of weather men because the climatic patterns are so unpredictable.
I was just telling my friend Michael Rains about my unfortunate allergy to my home-grown barley.
My grains give me migraines, Mike Rains.
Does all this rain make you want an ark?
I Noah guy.
Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
When is Monday coming?
MonSoon!
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
Why is rain the best kind of music?
Because it has amazing drops.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
What do you get if you come fourth in the National Weatherman Awards? A precipitation trophy.
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
What did the baby cloud say to its mum when it rained? Sorry, mum, I couldn't hold it any longer.
Knock Knock?
Who's there?
Hurricane
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you jog away from the storm?
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.