Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.