It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.