What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking