Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box