Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.