How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord