Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code