The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.