Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings