What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord