My wife says she wants to order a glass of wine during our Valentine’s Day dinner.
She says she loves being carded.
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
I would talk about Valentine’s Day
But it looks like I missed my date.
I bought my wife a matching belt and bag for Valentine's Day
She should have that vacuum up and running in no time.
I asked the older woman at work what she is doing for Valentine’s Day and she said that she was taking her husband to the Cardiologist. The heart wants what the heart wants.
For Valentines Day, I decided to get my wife some beads for an abacus.
It’s the little things that count.
"What did Frankenstein's monster say to his girlfriend?"
"Will you be my Valenstein?"
Happy Valentine's Day!
I hope your day starts off with a bang!
This Valentine's day, I decided to pay extra and buy flowers that look after themselves.
They are Self Raising.
We have a great connection since you’re wifi-material.
You must be glue because I am sticking with you.
Your name must be Summer because you are hot.
Your name must be Autumn because I am falling for you.
Your sweater must be made out of wife material.
I think you’re dandelion.
You’re the queen of my heart.
Your love is like vodka. You’re worth the chase.
What did the mountain say to the hill on Valentine's day?
You make my heart gush, I lava you.
Is this a science class? Because we have great chemistry.
I fence-y you.
Yoda one for me!
This may be corny, but you are a-maize-ing.
I got a valentine from a pickle today...
It meant a great dill to me.
What did the arsonist do on Valentine's day?
He met his match.
What kind of dance do single people do on Valentine's Day?
The Independance!
Was a bit lonely by myself at home last night on Valentine's Day so I decided to make my own bread.
I was feeling quite kneady
Are you a card?
We're perfectly suited for each other
Are you a keyboard? Because you are just my type.
Are you an alien? Because I believe you’ve abducted my heart.
Are you a flame? Because I think I found my perfect match.
Are you a magnet? Because I find you very attractive.
Are you a lightbulb? Because you turn me on.
Are you a needle? Because you are sew special to me.
Are you a drum? Because my heart beats for you.
Are you a thief? Because you stole my heart.
Cheesy Valentines Day Sayings
I think I found my perfect match
No-bunny is as hare-larious as you.
I’m not lion when I say you’re my mane.
I love you meow and forever.
I am fawn’d of you my deer.
I whale always love you.
My love for you is like no otter.
I loaf you.
You have a pizza my heart.
From my head tomatoes, I love you bunches.
There’s no reason to wine about you.
There’s so mushroom in my heart for you.
Don’t go bacon my heart.
We make a great pear