Did you hear about the new book called "100 Miles to the Next Restroom"?
It's by Will E. Mayket and Betty Wunt.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
I dislike toilet paper because...
They're tearable.
What type of poo smells good?
Shampoo.
What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?
Urine trouble.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
What did the flirty napking say to the dinner guests?
"Let me sit on your lap"
Heard a joke about urinals, but it didn't make me laugh.
I guess you had to pee there.
What do you call a sleeping paper towel?
A napkin.
My girlfriend left me while I was crying in the bathroom with constipation. She told me that I was so full of it.
It was the hardest dump I ever took.
I entered an auction on Ebay for a water butt cleaner.
But, I got out-bidet.
I just installed a brand new Luxe bidet!
I’ve been having a blast.
Do people have strange scents of humor if they laugh at their own farts?
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
I always hate having to unblock the toilet.
I’m never quite ready to take the plunge.
My toilet just turned one today.
It was her bidet.
Why could the toilet paper not stop?
Because it was on a role.
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
Which letters stand in line to the public restroom?
What do you call a bathroom line?
A P,Q.
I saw a sign above the urinal that read: "This is a urinal."
"No Sh**".
All farts...are laughing gas.
My kid keeps forgetting to flush the toilet after he takes a dump.
"That s**t is getting old," I told him.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
Why didn't the toilet paper finish the race?
Because it was wiped out.
What do you call a man who lives in a bathroom?
Lou.
I designed a new toilet but cannot find anyone to test it out.
No one gives a crap.
Two flies were sitting on a urinal. Everything was going well between them, until one got pissed.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
What kind of degree can you get at a urinal?
A Pee h.D.
Why did the toilet paper role down the hill?
To get to the bottom...
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
I tried to make a poo but could only squeeze out a p**.
I must be missing some bowels.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
Why are urinals the worst place to spend time?
Because it’s where all the di**s hang out.
I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo
After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.
I made a bridge out of Kleenex.
I have truss tissues.
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.
I will only give someone a kleenex if I've known them for a long time.
I guess you could say I have trust-tissues.
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
Have you ever heard of the book "They Yellow River"?
It was written by I.P. Daily.