Guess what I got my toilet for its birthday?
A Urinal cake.
Why didn't the toilet paper finish the race?
Because it was wiped out.
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
I was mad on the toilet this morning since I was running late, and I thought to myself...
I don’t have time for this crap!
What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee?
Urine trouble.
My family and I like to sleep during the day.
They are my napkin.
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
Why could the toilet paper not stop?
Because it was on a role.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
All the toilets in the police station have disappeared and they are asking for witnesses.
They currently have nothing to go on.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
If you don't use a bidet...
You're doing a half-a*sed job.
A man has to go, but has no toilet paper. His friend says to wipe with a dollar. He comes back all dirty, so his friend asks "What is that horrible smell?". So the man says,
"Hard to wipe with 3 quarters, 2 dimes and a nickel"