Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
Have you ever heard of the book "They Yellow River"?
It was written by I.P. Daily.
Why did the soldier flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
Why do toilet paper rolls have trust issues?
They're always getting ripped off.
What do you call the second tissue paper?
Kleenext.
Which letters stand in line to the public restroom?
What do you call a bathroom line?
A P,Q.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
They don’t maintain the outhouses at our campground anymore...
They’re real sh** holes.
What do you call a disabled paper towel?
A napkan't.
How does a monster flush the toilet?
It doesn't, it scares the living sh** out of it.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
My girlfriend left me while I was crying in the bathroom with constipation. She told me that I was so full of it.
It was the hardest dump I ever took.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
The urinals were broken at my dad's work
He had to walk a long distance to go to the bathroom. When the plumber came and informed him the urinals were fixed, my dad told him "I'm relieved!"
What did the toilet say to the urinal after it was hired?
“Urine!”
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
Why was James Bond kicked out of a toilet?
Because it was not agent's toilet.
I just installed a brand new Luxe bidet!
I’ve been having a blast.
How do you work out how many rolls of toilet paper are in 4 packets of 16?
Multiply.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
Toilet jokes aren’t my favorite...
But they’re a solid number 2.
Why did the toilet paper role down the hill?
To get to the bottom...
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
What did the flirty napking say to the dinner guests?
"Let me sit on your lap"
Once we were so poor, we only had a calendar to use as toilet paper.
Now those days are behind me.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
A plumber comes home very upset and yells out to his wife- "honey, you would not believe the bidet I've had."
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
Why does it cost $1 to use the urinal at the Department of Homeland Security?
If you pee something, pay something.
"Which hand do you wipe with?"
""I don't use my hands, I use toilet paper."
My kid keeps forgetting to flush the toilet after he takes a dump.
"That s**t is getting old," I told him.
My family and I like to sleep during the day.
They are my napkin.
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to go two spots away, it's called "social pisstancing".
This morning my daughter came to me, looking concerned. She said, “Dad, I need a new bum”.
I asked, “And why is that sweetheart?”
She said, “Because mine has a crack in it!”
I saved the exact location of my toilet on my computer.
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
Have you heard Mariah Kleenex's big holiday single?
It's called "I Don't Want a Snot for Christmas"
What do you call coffee made from poo?
Crappuccino.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
How does a napkin sneeze?
Tissue.
Today I learned some people have a phobia of flushing the toilet.
That must be a sh***y phobia to have.
Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
Every time I flush the toilet...
Sh** goes down
I’ve got a urinal that just won’t get serious...
It’s always taking the piss.