If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
Why did E come out of the bathroom U?
He must've had a vowel movement.
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
Have you ever heard of the book "They Yellow River"?
It was written by I.P. Daily.
My youngest needed a diaper change, so my wife called down from upstairs, "Can you throw up some wipes?"
"I'm not sure," I replied. "I haven't eaten any."
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
A man walks into a zoo, there was only one animal in the zoo.
It was a Shitzu.
You wanna know how I remember every poop I take?
I keep a log.
As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush ...
Safe to say I have pipe dreams!
What do you call it when you need a break at work and go to the bathroom even though you don't need to go?
A sham poo.
Why did the soldier flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
What condiment needs to go to the restroom the most?
Must-turd.
I designed a new toilet but cannot find anyone to test it out.
No one gives a crap.
I had to wait in line for 20 minutes just to buy some really cheap toilet paper!
It was a pain in the a**
Did you hear about the new book called "100 Miles to the Next Restroom"?
It's by Will E. Mayket and Betty Wunt.
What did the toilet say to the urinal after it was hired?
“Urine!”
What do you call a toilet perched on top of an active volcano?
The lavatory.
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
Which one of Sneezy’s kids hid his tissue paper?
Runny Knows!
This flu season, doctors are recommending you wipe your throat down with tissues.
Apparently they're synonymous with clean necks.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
Toilet paper plays an important roll in my life, it would be pretty sh**ty without it.
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas Money.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
They don’t maintain the outhouses at our campground anymore...
They’re real sh** holes.
What do you call the second tissue paper?
Kleenext.
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
Stores are running out of toilet paper again.
They’re wiped out.
Why do they put lotion in tissues?
To soften the blow.
This s***ty toilet broke down again!
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
Once we were so poor, we only had a calendar to use as toilet paper.
Now those days are behind me.
What do you call a sleeping paper towel?
A napkin.
Where does Batman go to take a dump?
To the batroom of course!
Why didn't the toilet paper finish the race?
Because it was wiped out.
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
If you’re Russian to the bathroom, Finnish when you leave, what are you while you are in?
European.
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.
What did the flirty napking say to the dinner guests?
"Let me sit on your lap"
Heard a joke about urinals, but it didn't make me laugh.
I guess you had to pee there.
If you don't use a bidet...
You're doing a half-a*sed job.
Which letters stand in line to the public restroom?
What do you call a bathroom line?
A P,Q.
I dislike toilet paper because...
They're tearable.
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.