What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
Campground bathrooms are always behind the times.
They're all past tents.
Which letters stand in line to the public restroom?
What do you call a bathroom line?
A P,Q.
My girlfriend left me while I was crying in the bathroom with constipation. She told me that I was so full of it.
It was the hardest dump I ever took.
I’ve been working on my poop art recently...
It’s pretty sh**.
This flu season, doctors are recommending you wipe your throat down with tissues.
Apparently they're synonymous with clean necks.
What do you call a man who lives in a bathroom?
Lou.
If you take a dump on a stump...
Does that make it a toilet tree?
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
It was clogged.
My friend explained how powerful (yet invisible) farts work via demonstration.
I was blown away by his transparency.
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
It wasn’t my idea to get bidet...
But now I kinda like the little squirt.
What did the poop shoveler say when he quit his job?
"I'm dung with this sh*t!"
What did the toilet say to the urinal after it was hired?
“Urine!”
What do you call a small turd?
A dumpling.
I was sick and tired of the kids leaving their business in the toilet, so I yelled at them.
They immediately flushed with embarrassment.
What do you call a sleeping paper towel?
A napkin.
I always hate having to unblock the toilet.
I’m never quite ready to take the plunge.
How does a napkin sneeze?
Tissue.
What do you call a turd made by the captain of a vessel?
The Captain's Log
What is a dung beetle's favorite holiday song?
"All I Want for Christmas is Poo"
If a clown farts...
Does it smell funny?
I always take a dump at 11:59 PM. That way, when the clock strikes midnight it’s the same sh**, different day.
I just installed a brand new Luxe bidet!
I’ve been having a blast.
Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
What do you call a disabled paper towel?
A napkan't.
Which one of Sneezy’s kids hid his tissue paper?
Runny Knows!
I feel bad for toilets.
They go through a lot of s**t
I was in the toilet for so long, I finally said to myself...
I'm getting too old for this s**t.
What did the flirty napking say to the dinner guests?
"Let me sit on your lap"
I saved the exact location of my toilet on my computer.
It's labelled as my 'I Pee' address.
The scariest day of my life was when we ran into a bear taking a dump inside our campsite.
That sh** was in
I entered an auction on Ebay for a water butt cleaner.
But, I got out-bidet.
Why did the soldier flush the toilet?
Because it was his doody.
A police officer was fired shortly after leaving the bathroom.
He was upset about being fired, but happy to be relieved of doody.
Why did the painter take a dump on the floor?
It was the work of fart.
What do you call the second tissue paper?
Kleenext.
Stores are running out of toilet paper again.
They’re wiped out.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
What type of toilet paper does the math house have?
Multiply.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.