I was in the toilet for so long, I finally said to myself...
I'm getting too old for this s**t.
In a recent study, NASA scientists confirmed that Uranus smells like farts.
Ran out of toilet paper today. We’re now using lettuce leaves.
Today was just the tip of the iceberg. Tomorrow romaines to be seen.
My neighbour didn't like it when I told him off about hoarding toilet paper
To be honest, I think he was being very anal about it.
People who pretends to never go taking a dump are full of sh**.
I feel bad for toilets.
They go through a lot of s**t
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
My family and I like to sleep during the day.
They are my napkin.
What do you call a man who lives in a bathroom?
Lou.
What condiment needs to go to the restroom the most?
Must-turd.
I just installed a brand new Luxe bidet!
I’ve been having a blast.
I saw a show where all the man did was sit on the toilet.
It was a s**tshow.
I always hate having to unblock the toilet.
I’m never quite ready to take the plunge.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
How do you work out how many rolls of toilet paper are in 4 packets of 16?
Multiply.