This s***ty toilet broke down again!
I was walking down the road and slipped on some dog poo. Someone came up behind me and slipped as well. Trying to sympathize, I said "I just did that!"
They slapped me and said "use the toilet next time"
I designed a new toilet but cannot find anyone to test it out.
No one gives a crap.
The urinals were broken at my dad's work
He had to walk a long distance to go to the bathroom. When the plumber came and informed him the urinals were fixed, my dad told him "I'm relieved!"
Made a shoe out of tea bags for my wife, she said she needed to wipe her nose.
A plumber comes home very upset and yells out to his wife- "honey, you would not believe the bidet I've had."
Why did the baker go to the toilet?
Because he kneaded a poo.
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
A zoo employee was injured when a monkey threw flaming poo at him.
He suffered from turd debris burns.
Scientists have just discovered a fossilized Dinosaur fart...
They say it’s a blast from the past!
Why didn’t the teacher want to fart in front of anyone?
He was a private tootor.
When you walk into the bathroom...
Urine there.
How does a napkin sneeze?
Tissue.
This flu season, doctors are recommending you wipe your throat down with tissues.
Apparently they're synonymous with clean necks.
Poo jokes...
Are funny sh**.