Winter Jokes

"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
I barely noticed you in the winter months, you were missing from the sky.
You warm my heart more than the salted caramel hot chocolate on a cold winter day.
Did Texas survive last week's winter storms?
Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrly.
Why do flamingos fly south in winter? Because it would be too far to walk.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
Whenever someone wishes me to say "Happy Winter," it always leaves me cold.
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
You're hot enough for both of us during winter.
Winter does not arrive until the ice is in the compost heap. Spring does not arrive until the ice is out of the compost.
There's snow place like the mountains in winter.
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.