Teach Jokes

Why did the daddy peach teach the child peach to shave? He was starting to grow peach fuzz.
Dear Mother in law...Don't teach me how to bring up my children...
I'm living with one of yours and she needs a lot of improvement.
My dad wanted to teach me to fix the car but all I did was hold the flashlight.
I guess I'll never hold a candle to him.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
Can you teach me how to use this machine?
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
One of my ancestors was once hired by Henry VIII to teach his son to play the trumpet
He was a Tudor tooter tutor.
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!

Dad: This is just making me upsettings!

On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Baby I'm gonna teach you what love's all about tonight
“The easiest way to teach children the value of money is to borrow some from them." — Anonymous
“Buying your kid a goldfish is a great way to teach them about responsibility for 24-36 hours”

- Conan O’Brien.
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
“People teach their dog to sit; it’s a trick. I’ve been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.”—Mitch Hedberg
“Dogs teach us a very important lesson in life: the mailman is not to be trusted.”—Sian Ford