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Military Jokes

Orange Puns
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
Zombie Puns
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
Gun Puns
What gun does a military chef use?
A salt rifle.
Why did Immanuel Kant lend his machine gun to forces plotting a military coup?
Because he willed that his Maxim could make a general rule.
Chemistry Puns
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
Train Puns
The US army secretly trains pigeons to help overthrow hostile foreign governments.
It’s a military coo.
Volleyball Puns
Why do volleyball players join the military? They want to gain extra experience in the service.
That's Not It...
A general noticed one of his soldiers was behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again. This went on for some time, with calls of "that's not it" sounding outside until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it."
Color Puns
Military submarines are a deep navy blue in color.
Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"Military justice is to justice what military music is to music."