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Maybe Jokes

Quotes
“Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.”
Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen)
Sibling Puns
My sister asked me to stop singing “Wonderwall”
I said maybe.
Funny Animal Quotes
“If you’re a zebra being chased by a lion, maybe just stop in front of a giant bar code?”

- Guy Endore-Kaiser.
Food Poems
She had so many chances
Yet she kept muffin it up
Butter intentions were good
Just not much coffee in her cup

Couldn’t make a good decision
Too much waffling back and forth
Always peppered with doubt
Should she head south, no maybe north

Still, she was fun at a party
I would say, hummus a tune
She’d say, Icing because I’m happy
As the words began to croon

Maybe that’s what’s most important
Omelet let her off the hook
So she’s always in a pickle
Doesn’t do things by the book

Once again, I’m gonna help her
Since she is such a good egg
I said, girl, you’d go much farther
If you weren’t such a nut Meg

(Mike Gentile)
Lightning Puns
Do you want to hear a joke about a bolt of lightning?
Actually, maybe not. The end is rather shocking.
Soap Puns
I go through so much shampoo it's just ridiculous!
I don't know, maybe my head is bigger than most but it does say to use a cap full.
Christian Quotes
Maybe this world is another planet's hell. -- Aldous Huxley
Mexican Pick Up Lines
Maybe next time Yucatan with me?
Classic Pick Up Lines
Haven’t I seen you before? Maybe in my dreams?
Marriage Puns
My son was just born and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday… said maybe they'll marry each other.
Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age!
The Little Girl and the Wittle Wabbit
A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?" And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?" The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."
Gnome Puns
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
Orange Puns
You shouldn’t put orange slices in your beer. Well, maybe once in a Blue Moon.
One Liners and Short Jokes
An elderly gentleman pulls up his sweatpants, shuffles into the bar, sidles up to a sweet young thing maybe one fourth his age, and with his most winning smile, asks
"Do I come here often?"
Corona Virus Jokes
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."

People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
Funny Work Quotes
“The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse.” — Dennis Miller