Find Jokes

Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling
How did the police find all the missing wood from the lumber yard?
It was chipped.
"When we put vegetables up for the winter, we use jars, but we call it canning. I find that jarring. And uncanny."
– Greg Tamblyn
"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning."
– John Barrymore
“I want to tell you about the "sausage principle." The theory says, "If you love something, never try to find out how it is done."”
― Unknown
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
I can’t find a costume for Halloween, so can I just go as your boyfriend?
Do you know what I did last night? I put Easter eggs in a heart shape for you to find!
"There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, 'Yes,' you know he is a crook."
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
What rock would you find inside a garden shed?
Shedimentary.
“I think we’ll be friends forever because we’re too lazy to find new friends.”
— Unknown
“You find out who your real friends are when you’re involved in a scandal.”
— Elizabeth Taylor
I need a date; do you know where I could find one?