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Cure Jokes

Funny Birthday Poems

It’s your birthday, there is no cure,
Cakes and candles, you must endure,
Quick and painless, let me assure,
A tiny chance, you will be mature,
With this crowd, usually secure,
Random fun, with results obscure,
Liquids we drink, definitely pure,
Goofy friends, minds we tour,
Hilarious birthday, that’s for sure.

(Martin Dejnicki)

Doctor Puns

Doctor: Your brain seems to have deleted all info about 80s music!
Man: Yikes! What’s The Cure?

Doctor: Darn, it’s worse than I thought.

One Liners and Short Jokes

I cannot believe no ones come up with a cure for anorexia yet.
I thought it would be a piece of cake!

What's the cure for marriage?
Alcoholism.

I've been taking Viagra for my sunburn.
It doesn't cure it but it keeps the bed sheets off my legs at night.

Drugstore Pick Up Lines

You must be regulated by the FDA because you treat, cure, and prevent my broken heart.

Vaccine Puns

Hey kids! I went back in time and formed a British 80s pop group called The Vaccine!
And now The Cure is no longer necessary!

Funny Aging Quotes

"There is still no cure for the common birthday." - John Glenn

Werewolf Puns

What do you call a werewolf that's found the cure for lycanthropy?
A lycan'tthrope.

Radio Puns

I heard Placebo on the radio. I actually thought it was The Cure.

Band Puns

I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.

Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris’ tears can cure you of the coronavirus.
Too bad he doesn’t cry.