Bringing Jokes

I've been on a real hummus kick lately, so as I came home from work tonight, my sister says to me "You're always bringing home hummus now." To which I replied, "Hummus where the heart is!"
My new Halloween cookies are bringing everyone back for more!
I call them boo merginues.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
Why are you bringing me to this mountain river after our couple therapy session?!
Our therapist said I need to valley date you.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
“No one is full of more false hope than a parent bringing a chair to the beach.” – @simoncholland
Yesterday I went to the store for only 2 items, a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. Fortunately they were relatively light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!