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Australia Jokes

Werewolf Puns
What do you call a silly werewolf in Australia ?
A dingo-ling
Lemon Puns
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
The Leather Worker
A leather worker was flying to Australia when his plan crashed. As bad luck would have it, he got separated from the rest of the floating passengers and found himself stranded on a small deserted island. Desperate to survive, the leather worker searches the island for food to eat. Luckily, he finds a herd of docile cows on the island. He successfully hunts one of the cows and skillfully cleans and prepares the cow's skin and meat for himself. With a steady supply of food, the leather worker knew it was time to find a way off the island. He decides to make a large canopy out of the cow's leather and used some leaves to spell out S.O.S that could easily be seen from above. A few days later, a passing plane spots the message, and calls a ship to rescue the man. It just goes to show you that when all else fails, the best thing to do is to hide in plane sight.
Quotes
“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
Charles M. Schulz
Witch Puns
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
Crocodile Puns
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
Kangaroo Puns
A spider, a snake, and a kangaroo walk into a bar…
It’s a normal day in Australia.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
Canadian Girls in Australia
A couple of pretty gals from Canada decide to travel to Australia over the winter to get a break from 40 below, ice and snow. They're sitting at a club in Perth, enjoying the sunshine and sipping on a cold drink. Two of the local lads see them and one says "Hey, why don't you ask those pretty ladies over to join us?" "My pleasure!" Hos buddy says and walks over to them saying, "G'day, ladies, haven't seen you around here before, where are you from?" One of the women looks up with a big smile and proudly says "Saskatoon, Saskatchewan!" He looks at them, blinks a couple of times and walks away. He goes back to his buddy who says "Are the ladies coming over, or should we join them over there?" His friend replies "Nah. They don't speak any English."
Australian Pick Up Lines
You are living proof that Australia was colonized by criminals, because it's 'criminal' how good you look.
Here in Australia it's already tomorrow, wanna know what we did last night?
Are you Australia? Cause your geographical location is hot.
How to Use Timbuktu!
A priest and a shepherd from Australia participate in a TV game. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It is city in Africa. The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration: "I was a father all my life, I had no children, had no wife, I read the bible through and through on my way to Timbuktu ... " The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his winning masterpiece: "When Tim and I to Brisbane went We met three women cheap to rent. They were three and we were two, So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "
Ocean Puns
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.