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Apart Jokes

Water Sports Pick Up Lines
Hey girl, these swimming pool lane lines can't keep us apart.
Squirrel Puns
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
Jogging Pick Up Lines
Apart from being a running gear model, what do you do for a living?
Ice Puns
Guess what I do when my ice house falls apart.
Igloo it back together!
Keyboard Puns
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
Marriage Puns
Two bananas married without realising they were from the same tree.
They really split over it. It was a really slippery ordeal and peeled them apart.
Couch Puns
What does a couch say to another couch at the other side of the room?
We are sofa apart!
Skeleton Puns
Did you hear about the skeleton that was almost picked apart by a group of wild dogs?
He marrowly escaped.
Knight Puns
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
Irish Puns
What do you call it when leprechauns get together after being apart?
A wee-union!
Quotes
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
Rodney Dangerfield
Funny Health Quotes
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigeratir are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all"- Joey Adams
One Liners and Short Jokes
It’s sad that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs.