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melon Jokes

melon Jokes and more.
Revenge of the Melon Farmer
There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next night, the kids showed up and they saw the sign which read, "Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide." The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer's. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons were missing, but the sign next to his read: "Now there are two!"
Strawberry Puns
‪I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa. ‬
Mango Puns
‪I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a pot. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa. ‬
Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
There once was a hunter named Frawley
Who lived in a shack, outside Raleigh.
His dog, funny but true,
Would only hunt honeydew.
The dog was a true melon collie.

(William Robinson)
Marriage Puns
My marriage is slowly turning into a melon farm. I keep hearing Honeydew this, Honeydew that.
Orange Puns
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
The Blonde and Her Melons
This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along. The guy asks, "What are you carrying?" "Melons," the blonde replies. "Cool," the guy says."If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?" The blonde giggles and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them!"
Love Puns
You're one in a melon.
Why were the melon lovers sad?
Because they cantaloupe.
One Liners and Short Jokes
If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic
Food puns
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
Blond Jokes
This blonde was walking down a road carrying a bag, when a guy came along.
The guy asks, "What are you carrying?"
"Melons," the blonde replies.
"Cool," the guy says.
"If I can guess how many there are, can I have one of them?"
The blonde giggles and says, "If you can guess how many there are, you can have BOTH of them."
One Liners for Kids
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
Salad Puns
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn?
The kind with extra melon in.
Watermelon Puns
Why did one melon break up with the other melon?
“He didn’t know water problem was.”
What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”
What do you call a serial killer watermelon? A slaughter melon.
What’s the only type of melon that changes colours at will? Well, a chamelon.
What was the watermelon’s naughty pick-up line?
“Want to see my melons?”
Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?
“They’re always melon it over.”
Here’s another one; what about an otter who lives in an emptied out melon? An ottermelon.
You know what they say about when life gives you melons?
You might be dyslexic.
What does the watermelon say to its girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? – “You are one in a melon!”
What do you call a girl watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
Did you hear about the elusive skating watermelon thief? Not really, the only description they got was a Caucasian melon wheels.
What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a watermelon patch?
“Melanie! (melon-y)”
They asked how the watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
Did you hear about the new watermelon powered cars set to come out next year? Yeah, it’s too bad you only get a water-melon the gallon.
I think it’s funny when I ask girls whether they would spit or swallow my seed if I was a watermelon. Unfortunately, almost all of them reply not in a hundred melon years.