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hokusai vte cancer Jokes

hokusai vte cancer Jokes and more.
Grammar Puns
My wife was just recently diagnosed with colorectal cancer and now has surgery scheduled to remove a couple of inches of her colon. I expect her grammar will improve as a result.
Because she's going to have to learn how to use a semicolon.
Phone Puns
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
Pun Puns
I've already heard seven cancer puns today.
If I hear tumor it's gonna benign.
Hair Puns
Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
The Man, the Camera and His Butt
These two guys are sat in their hospital beds having a little chat. The first guy asks the second, "What are you in for?" "Camera down the throat." the second guy replies. "Oh, endoscopy?" the first guy asks. The second guy says, "Yeah. Checking for stomach cancer. How about you?" "Camera up the butt" the first guy says. "Oh colonoscopy, checking for bowel cancer?" asks the second guy. The first guy says, "No, my neighbor was sunbathing and my wife caught me taking a photo."
Strawberry Puns
Strawberries are berry healthy. They pack a punch when it comes to beating cancer and other diseases.
Spine Puns
A man with spine cancer walks up to his friend
His friend notices that the man is holding his back while walking up to him
His friend asks "What's wrong?".
The man says "My back is killing me".
There's No Joke Like a Senior Joke!
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,  so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising.  I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.  I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But by the time I got my leotard on, the class was over. -------------------------- I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair. She turned to me and asked, 'Are you having it catered'?   And that, my friend, is the sad definition of 'OLD'!   -------------------------- My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.  Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. -------------------------- Know how to prevent sagging?  Just eat until the wrinkles fill out. -------------------------- I've sure gotten old!    I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,  new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes  I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,  take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.  Have bouts with dementia.  Have poor circulation;  hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.  Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.  Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,  I still have my driver's license! -------------------------- An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and  told her preacher she had two final requests.  First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,  she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart. 'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed.  'Why Wal-Mart?'  'These days, about half the stuff in my shopping cart says: 'For fast relief.''
Toxic Pick Up Lines
My love for you is like cancer, it just keeps growing and growing.
Colonoscopy Short Jokes
My father had a colonoscopy.
Turns out he had colon cancer so he had to have surgery to remove the tumor. Now he has a semi-colon.
Knock Knock Jokes
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
interrupting doctor.
interr…
You've got cancer.
Witty Horoscope Quotes
"A Cancer's bed is their sanctuary. Therefore, if you can't find them, look under the down comforter."
— Unknown
“Cancers are Moonchildren; totally influenced by the waxing and waning cycles of the Moon. Asking them to remain in one feeling, one mood, or one state of mind is pure insanity.”
— Sherene Schostak