Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
Mermaids always drink mermosas.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
When the little unicorn got bullied at school, he told his pop-corn so he could do something about it.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
Would you call a hardy unicorn that survived disease an immunicorn?
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
I have a bone to pixie with you.
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
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You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
Go big or go gnome.
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
Would you call a guy who’s eating corn while riding a unicycle a unicorn on the cob?
Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?
Why can't mermaids use the letters A or B?
They only know what's below C level.
What do you call an extremely disgusting unicorn that no one likes? An eeeww-nicorn.
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
Even as unicorn parents, you always want to control the internet unless you want your foals checking
out uniporn all day.
When the chef asked which ingredients were missing in the signature dish, someone said quickly, ‘u-need-corn’.
What do you call a small scoop of ice-cream? A uni-cone.
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
You mermake me happy.
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
One mermaid said to the other, "I love your shell bracelet, can I Triton?"
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
Why are dragons such good story tellers?
Because they have long tails.
Why would a judge make a good tooth fairy?
Because they want the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”