Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
Did you hear about the monk who was caught molesting kids? Yeah, bastard was telling the poor kids to touch his eunuch-horn.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake!
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
What did Peter Pan call Tinkerbell when she corrected his spelling?
A Diction Fairy.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
What did the Little Mermaid say to Triton before she left?
- If you need me, call me on my shell.
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
Mermaids can be quite mean. Salmon had to say it.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
I have a bone to pixie with you.
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.
I call it "Book Club"
Don't fork-get your manners.
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?
A sigh-ren.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
Long time no sea.
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
Why won’t you ever find a unicorn in the army? Because they don’t like wearing uniforms.
Where do criminal unicorns sentenced to death go? They go on corn row.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
Did you hear about the misbehaving unicorn? Sure, but I never though that these creatures could get so horny.
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.