Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
We were mermaid for each other.
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
You are shrimply the best!
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
Wish upon a starfish.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?
Taco Bell.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Go big or go gnome.
Why would a judge make a good tooth fairy?
Because they want the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
Where did the mermaid go on a date?
She was catching a movie at the dive-in.
Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
Did you hear about the forgetful unicorn mom? She kept feeding her kids milk of amnesia.
What's a dragon's favorite snack?
Fire Crackers!
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
You seem a little mer-mad.
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
What do you call a 2D fairy?
Pixie-lated.
Would you call a hardy unicorn that survived disease an immunicorn?
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
Call me on the shellphone.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
When the little unicorn got bullied at school, he told his pop-corn so he could do something about it.
Let’s kick off shall we? I just hope that my unicorn puns won’t be too corny for you.
If an adult is called a unicorn, are its young one’s called puny-corns?