Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
Fairies just wand to have fun.
Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?
He couldn't spit hot fire yet.
Why won’t you ever find a unicorn in the army? Because they don’t like wearing uniforms.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
Would you call a guy who’s eating corn while riding a unicycle a unicorn on the cob?
When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
Unicorns deserve to be banned from facebook because all they do is poke people all day.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
One mermaid said to the other, "I love your shell bracelet, can I Triton?"
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
Why did the rude unicorn not say hello to the other? Because while the pace (face) was familiar, he
just couldn’t remember the mane (name).
What did Peter Pan call Tinkerbell when she corrected his spelling?
A Diction Fairy.
What kind of underwear does a math-obsessed mermaid wear?
An algae bra.
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
You really mermaid my day.
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
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You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo.
You mermake me happy.
Shes a fairy realistic person.
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
A man meets a fairy.
"I grant you 2 wishes" , says the fairy.
"I want a bottle of beer that never gets empty" , says the man.
He starts to drink. After two minutes he stops drinking and the bottle is still full.
"And youre second wish?" the fairy asks.
"Another one of those."
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
Wish upon a starfish.
Mermaids always drink mermosas.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
What’s the best way to catch unicorns? Simple, by herding them all to one corner.
Have you seen Jake’s new custom trumpet? Yeah, that’s quite a unique horn, I’d know it anywhere.
Why does the fairy kingdom smell so awful?
Because of all the toad stools.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.