Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
Why are dragons such good story tellers?
Because they have long tails.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Would you call a guy who’s eating corn while riding a unicycle a unicorn on the cob?
Fishing you a happy day.
When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
Famous mermaid saying: Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
What did the fairy say to the other fairy?
It’s fairy nice to meet you!
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
Unicorns deserve to be banned from facebook because all they do is poke people all day.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
A dragon would never explode
But a dino might.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
Did you hear about the misguided unicorn lumberjack who was killing humans? He believed he was doing random axe of kindness.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?
Taco Bell.
Did you know that unicorns live in New York City? I swear why do you think their called uNYCorns?
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
What is the little mermaid’s favorite font?
Arial.
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
Go big or go gnome.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
What's a dragon's favorite snack?
Fire Crackers!
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
A man meets a fairy.
"I grant you 2 wishes" , says the fairy.
"I want a bottle of beer that never gets empty" , says the man.
He starts to drink. After two minutes he stops drinking and the bottle is still full.
"And youre second wish?" the fairy asks.
"Another one of those."
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
I swear I saw one of those mythical creatures somewhere in the bush; but when I came back, it was uni-gone.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.