Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
Unicorns deserve to be banned from facebook because all they do is poke people all day.
How do you know the tooth fairy is a journalist?
They're always searching for the tooth.
Wish upon a starfish.
Mermaids can be quite mean. Salmon had to say it.
Where do criminal unicorns sentenced to death go? They go on corn row.
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.
I just paid for a boat ride to a magic themed renaissance carnival. The price was reasonable.
It was a fair fairy faire ferry fare.
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
I designed a dungeons and dragons weapon for wizards. It's a magical melee weapon shaped like a tome that uses intellect for damage instead of strength.
I call it "Book Club"
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
We were mermaid for each other.
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
Let’s kick off shall we? I just hope that my unicorn puns won’t be too corny for you.
If an adult is called a unicorn, are its young one’s called puny-corns?
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
I love you so fairy much.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
Call me on the shellphone.
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Why is the tooth fairy so smart?
Because she has wisdom teeth!
What is the mermaid’s favorite drink?
A mertini.
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.