Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
Why would a judge make a good tooth fairy?
Because they want the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
When it comes to mermaids growing legs, it's all in the de-tail.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
One mermaid said to the other, "I love your shell bracelet, can I Triton?"
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
You mermaid to go far.
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to shower?
Stinkerbell.
Long time no sea.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
What do you call a 2D fairy?
Pixie-lated.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s not mushroom in the enchanted forest.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
Fishing you a happy day.
You really mermaid my day.
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
Why did the Dragon Cross the Road?
He wanted to eat some chicken.
Shes a fairy realistic person.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
You are shrimply the best!