What did the teacher say when he sent the naughty student out of the (mush)room? - You’re in big truffle young man!
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
What does the mushroom say to his lover? – “I have so mush-room in my heart for you, baby!”
Why do toadstools grow so close to each other? They do not need mushroom to grow.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
The reason why mushrooms are always welcome even in high-end parties is because everybody believes they are really fun-guys.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
When Mr. Mushroom saw Miss Mushroom, he didn’t hesitate to ask her out on a date because he had she was such a fungi-rl.
A mycologist is the most ethical type of scientist. They follow morels closely.
At the party, the vegetarian girl won’t eat the mushrooms, reason being, somebody told her that they were oyster mushrooms.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
I always invite the mushroom to my party because he is such a fun-guy.
You can virtually stay in any room. The only one you can’t is the mush-room because it is reserved for fungi.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
During the contribution’s session, the mushroom family never gave a lot. They were just two spore.
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
What types of mushrooms do vegetarians avoid? Oyster mushrooms.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
What do you call a giant mushroom? Hu-fungus.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
The only way the mushroom could think of decorating his house was with toadstools.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
I was not allowed to do my stand up act at the mushroom comedy show. I guess I am not a fungi.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
My father cooked us mushrooms. Later he asked "Having fun guys"?