What's the best kind of pan to make sushi in?
Japan.
If I put dull-tasting food in a bowl, will it have a bowlder taste?
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
I must say, my wife's cooking has really improved.
That was the best slice of soup I've ever had.
My dad kept calling referring to this mason jar as his “boom box”.
When I asked him why, he responded “I use it for all my jams!”
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
My bedroom now has a stained glass window....
A pigeon just flew right into it.
I really hate straws.
They suck.
Why did the police arrest a cup of snow?
For just-ice
Is plate throwing a trully Olympic sport?
Discuss.
Why did Don Corleone send back the plate for his coffee cup?
Someone gave him a saucer he could not reuse.
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
I tried smoking pot once.
I choked on the handle.
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
Why do Italians love cooking?
It’s their national pasta-time
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
My girlfriend was arrested for assault using an iron skillet
We'll see how this pans out but I think she's fried.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
Cops should feed beans on very tiny plates to the suspects they're interrogating.
That way they're always gonna end up spilling the beans.
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
My father quietly retired from his job as an eye glass manufacturer yesterday.
He didn’t want to make a spectacle.
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
It is an extremely rare dish order.
How is Europe like a frying pan?
It has Greece at the bottom.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
My wife threw a saucer at me because I hadn't completed the science project of our kid until then. Interestingly, he won first prize at school for presenting...
a Flying Saucer.
My wife won a large ceramic pot
She definitely urned it.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
I lost a cooking challenge once for not completing the dish.
I ran out of thyme.
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
I bought this strange novelty baking pan shaped like Camelot.
I think I'll break it in by making a castlerole.
Minding my own business, when someone I thought was my friend threw a serving plate full of bumblebees at me.
I was bee-trayed.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
Mark Knopfler is opening a Chinese restaurant
He's calling it Wok of Life.
What do you call a decent cup of coffee?
Just an average joe.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
I have a phobia of using the wrong amounts of ingredients when I’m cooking
So I’ve been taking measures to deal with it.
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
I gave my dad a mug for his birthday
It said "World's greatest dad". When I gave it to him he looked kind of insulted. Is something wrong with it I asked? He replied, "You spelled 'dad' backwards"
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
What the Poland man did, after adding German mugs to his collection?
He polished them.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
My son asked me where the pan was.
I told him, naturally, it went on a wok.