Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental.
I can heartly wait to see you.
I think I found my perfect match
“Did you know that the Christmas tree trend started because people thought it would spruce things up a
bit?”
But wait—there’s myrrh.
What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate clauses.
They told me I was too old to hunt for Easter eggs, but the jokes on them!
I prefer mine poached.
Dublin over in laughter.
“What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!”
"Just don't carrot all."
There’s so mushroom in my heart for you.
Let’s have a shamrockin’ good time tonight!
What do you call a reindeer ghost? A cari-boo!
The snuggle is real.
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
I would talk about Valentine’s Day
But it looks like I missed my date.
I’m ready to shamrock and roll.
My love for you simply radiates.
Why did the Easter Bunny have to leave school?
He was eggspelled.
The Christmas alphabet has noel.
Are you a keyboard? Because you are just my type.
Sip, sip, horray!
I’m so lepre-gone right now.
You’re my pot of gold.
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve!
What do you call a broke santa? Give up yet? It's Saint-NICKEL-LESS.
You’re my soul Santa.
It’s the most wonderful time for a beer.
“Santa’s beard is so long because he’s bad at shaving. Why do you think they call him Saint Nick?”
Easter dinner was great today
We made sure it had all the crucifixins'.
"Eggs love you."
We make a great pear
You must be a geologist because you rock my world.
I’m fondue you.
I find you very a-peeling.
You sleigh me.
Easter and April Fools fall on the same day this year...
You could say it only happens once in a blue moon.
Are you a magnet? Because I find you very attractive.
I’m a clover, not a fighter.
“Santa Claus’ favorite swimming spot is the North Pool.”
Cheesy Valentines Day Sayings
My wife says she wants to order a glass of wine during our Valentine’s Day dinner.
She says she loves being carded.
Thank you for making our relationship sweet rather than a rocky road.
This Valentine's day, I decided to pay extra and buy flowers that look after themselves.
They are Self Raising.
What kind of dance do single people do on Valentine's Day?
The Independance!
These decorations are tree-mendous.
Shake it like a pole-oriod picture.
Up to snow good.
Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.
You have a pizza my heart.