What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!