What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.