Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
Go big or go gnome.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.