What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.
Go big or go gnome.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
How many gnomes does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a village!
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
They can’t read it, it’s on a need-to-gnome basis.
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.