What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?
Because they’re good at shorthand.
All right, everyone, that’s enough! Gno more games!
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga? Gnom-aste.
A dyslexic witch cursed me!
Now everything I touch turns to glod, an increasingly disgruntled gnome.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy. I just love mischief! And what, may I ask, creature, are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says, "I guess I'm a gnome."
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
Did you hear about the gnome city that doesn’t let humans through the gates? They call it Gno-man’s-land.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
Go big or go gnome.
What do you call nomadic gnomes?
Gnomads.
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
Did you know garden gnomes wear little red hats?
It’s a little gnome fact.