Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
What race makes for the edgiest bards?
Rock gnomes.
I used to adventure with a gnome, but he gave it up so he could focus on writing under a pseudonym. He became a gnome-de-plume…
Why don't gnomes tell secrets in the garden?
Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Plus, the beanstalk!
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods.
He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.
Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to get married.”
“Why?” asked the man, smiling.
“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!”
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
Too bad, if only I’d gnome!
Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.
What do gnomes love to sing while gardening?
Gnome Worry, Bee Happy.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?
Because the grass tickles their armpits.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
Gnomes don’t understand jokes, they go right over their heads.
What do you call a dwarf who sells prosthetic limbs?
A small arms dealer.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
Why did the gnome take the subway to work?
Because a metro-gnome is always on time.
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
Beware, gnomish merchants, they tend to shortchange people.