Whilst holidaying in France I saw a group of mushrooms performing Queen covers.
I said 'You're brilliant, what's the band called?'
They replied 'We are the Champignons."
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
French guy goes into a bar with a frog on his head
The bartender asks “where’d you get that?” And the frog says “in France. There’s loads of them.”
What do France and a pigeon have in common?
Every 5 minutes, there is a coo.
So I went to France and bought a house made of bread
I guess you could say I'm living in pain.
What’s Austrian and took over France?
Croissants.
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
European!
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
I used to be a personal driver in France
But now I have nothing to chauffeur it.
Living in france must be hard
I mean, 100 dollars is only a cent.
What is a female "Douchebag" in France called??
A douche-baguette.
What are stepfathers called in France?
Faux pas.
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
It's only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region of France;
otherwise, it's just sparkling isolation.
German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
What did France, Great Britain, and their allies say after The Great War?
World War Won.
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
What do they call the Hunger Games in France?
Battle Royale with Cheese.
Did you hear of the new disease going through France?
I've heard it was a Paris-ite.
What is the most popular flower in France?
Croissanthemums.
If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
I tripped in France.
Eiffel over.
What’s the capital of France?
The F.
Why should you never eat the fish in France?
Because it's poisson.
Which city in France is the nicest?
Nice.
I guess I’m going to France
Because I have nothing Toulouse.
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to France from America?
Son, we are now Europeants!
Another cheese factory in France exploded...
I Camembert to hear this joke again!
Everyone knows the Italians invented pizza but few know that it was perfected by French rebels in nazi occupied France during WWII.
It was the pizza de resistance.
It’s impossible to Rouen a trip to France.
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about.
I always feel like a winner in France, which is great because I hate Toulouse.
I’ll try to keep it brief, but I have so much to Marseilles about France.
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.
Why is research more trustworthy if it comes from France?
It's Pierre-reviewed.
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
French people give me the crepes.
Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning?
Becasue he is pm not am!
What's in the middle of Paris?
R.
What does a frog in Paris eat?
French Flies.
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
He was declared to be in Seine.
I’ve loved my vacation in France, but it’s time to Hugo.
It’s a beautiful Degas!
I hate to Gauguin, but I have to catch my flight.
France is beautiful in every Cezanne.
Are these pants too tight in the Balzac?