If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
It’s a beautiful Degas!
I’ve loved my vacation in France, but it’s time to Hugo.
What did France, Great Britain, and their allies say after The Great War?
World War Won.
French, French Revolution
So I went to France and bought a house made of bread
I guess you could say I'm living in pain.
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
Whilst holidaying in France I saw a group of mushrooms performing Queen covers.
I said 'You're brilliant, what's the band called?'
They replied 'We are the Champignons."
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
European!
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
Don’t make such a Dreyfus about it.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
French guy goes into a bar with a frog on his head
The bartender asks “where’d you get that?” And the frog says “in France. There’s loads of them.”
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
What are stepfathers called in France?
Faux pas.
Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning?
Becasue he is pm not am!
I’m in such a Henri to get to France!
Don’t come to France without any Monet.
So you live in the seventh most populous city in France?
Must be Nice.
There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.
What do they call the Hunger Games in France?
Battle Royale with Cheese.
When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about.
What is the most popular flower in France?
Croissanthemums.
What’s the capital of France?
The F.
How do you Charlemange-age to get through the last few days before vacation?
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
Living in france must be hard
I mean, 100 dollars is only a cent.
Did you hear of the new disease going through France?
I've heard it was a Paris-ite.
I guess I’m going to France
Because I have nothing Toulouse.
Can I be Candide with you?
French people give me the crepes.
I’ll try to keep it brief, but I have so much to Marseilles about France.
It’s impossible to Rouen a trip to France.
I’m in love with France, and I ain’t Lyon.
Which city in France is the nicest?
Nice.
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to France from America?
Son, we are now Europeants!
What does a frog in Paris eat?
French Flies.
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
He was declared to be in Seine.
It's only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region of France;
otherwise, it's just sparkling isolation.
Why is research more trustworthy if it comes from France?
It's Pierre-reviewed.
What's in the middle of Paris?
R.
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
France is beautiful in every Cezanne.
France – it’s just a oui bit different!
Everyone knows the Italians invented pizza but few know that it was perfected by French rebels in nazi occupied France during WWII.
It was the pizza de resistance.
I always feel like a winner in France, which is great because I hate Toulouse.
Can I go to France this year? Of Corsican!