I’ve loved my vacation in France, but it’s time to Hugo.
When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about.
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
French history is nothing to Lafayette at.
Everyone knows the Italians invented pizza but few know that it was perfected by French rebels in nazi occupied France during WWII.
It was the pizza de resistance.
What does a frog in Paris eat?
French Flies.
What's in the middle of Paris?
R.
I read Reims of info before I got here, but nothing can prepare you for how beautiful this place is.
There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.
Did you hear about the Frenchman who jumped into the river in Paris?
He was declared to be in Seine.
I can’t believe you have the de Gaulle to say that to my face.
French, French Revolution
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
Can I go to France this year? Of Corsican!
What does the Tour de France and Amsterdam have in common?
They both have a bunch of people on drugs riding around on bikes.
German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
It’s impossible to Rouen a trip to France.
I’m in such a Henri to get to France!
Which city in France is the nicest?
Nice.
How do you Charlemange-age to get through the last few days before vacation?
I guess I’m going to France
Because I have nothing Toulouse.
Why is the French Prime Minister never seen in the morning?
Becasue he is pm not am!
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
European!
Don’t make such a Dreyfus about it.
We Rodin a taxi around the city after dark.
What is a female "Douchebag" in France called??
A douche-baguette.
What do they call the Hunger Games in France?
Battle Royale with Cheese.
I’m in love with France, and I ain’t Lyon.
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
Have you heard of the tallest tower in France?
It’s a real Eiffel.
So I went to France and bought a house made of bread
I guess you could say I'm living in pain.
It’s a beautiful Degas!
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to France from America?
Son, we are now Europeants!
I used to be a personal driver in France
But now I have nothing to chauffeur it.
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
Can I be Candide with you?
The 70s/80s aesthetic has recently become pretty popular in France.
They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi.
Another cheese factory in France exploded...
I Camembert to hear this joke again!
Someone from Southern France sent me an MS Word file with 200 pages.
It's a Languedoc.
What did France, Great Britain, and their allies say after The Great War?
World War Won.
If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
What’s the capital of France?
The F.
I hate to Gauguin, but I have to catch my flight.
What are stepfathers called in France?
Faux pas.
Why is research more trustworthy if it comes from France?
It's Pierre-reviewed.
What’s Austrian and took over France?
Croissants.
French people give me the crepes.
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
France is beautiful in every Cezanne.
I love a good shindig. Just call me Napoleon Bonapart-y.