Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
What pickup line did the flower use on Tinder?
Are you a DAMNdelion?
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
What does a flower write on their valentine?
Aloe you vera much.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
Did you hear about the flower who joined Tinder?
He just wants somebudy to love.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
What would Jerry McGuire have said if he was a flower?
You had me at hydrangea.
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
What does the youngest flower child say?
Last bud not least!
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
What is a flower’s favorite vegetable?
Cauliflower.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
Why are plants the best chefs?
They’re succulent.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
Did you hear about the flower who never bloomed?
It was a bud omen.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.