What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
What does a door to door flower salesman do?
Petal his wares.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
Whats a bad flower pick-up line?
Lets put our tulips together?
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
Did you hear about one flower who went on a date with another flower?
It’s a budding romance.
What does a flower say when they’re offering you a job?
Take it or leaf it.
Did you hear about the flower who was struck in a hit and run?
She was leafed for dead.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
What did the flower say to his wife when he brought her home a present?
I hope thistle cheer you up.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What do you say when you want a kiss from a flower?
Plant one on me.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.