How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
The other day someone made fun of my ears for hanging down too far.
Lobe low, dude.
his morning my son said his ear hurt and I asked : on the inside or outside?
So he walks out the front door, comes back in and says "Both."
My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.
I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
My hair was acting crazy so I told it to comb down.
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.
It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
What do you do if your nose goes on strike?
Picket.
I've never seen the inside of my ears...
But I've heard good things.
My barrista friend turns up her nose at instant coffee.
She's quite sankamonious.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
I got punched in the mouth by a drug addict today.
Now my jaw’s all methed up.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.