Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
-
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
My wife made beef stew to clear my stuffed nose...
...bud I don'd dink it was strogonoff.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
Rich people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
But polite french people are born with a s'il vous plaît.
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
My head hurt and I had a really runny nose during math class
I think i had a sin(x) infection.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
My barrista friend turns up her nose at instant coffee.
She's quite sankamonious.
A man is holding a bee, what is in his eye?
Beauty.
What did the ear of corn say when all of its clothes fell off?
Awe shucks!
Why did the kid put the dinky car in his ear?
Because he wanted to give it a wax job.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
You know, people say they pick their nose,
but I feel like I just was born with mine.
What makes your mouth sad?
A tongue depressor.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
A nose visited its home town.
It was overcome with nostril-gia.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
What do you call a guy with an ear fetish.
Hard for hearing.
I got punched in the mouth by a drug addict today.
Now my jaw’s all methed up.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
How do you beat a robot in a fist fight
Socket in the jaw.
I told the doctor I was deaf in my left ear he said 'are you sure?'
Then I said 'I'm definite."
Why are super loud sounds bad for your ears?
It hertz your eardrums.
Did you know there is a new horse species with one eye and a horn?
It's called a unicornea.
What is your mouth’s favorite exercise?
Burpees.
Condoms are like ear muffs.
They prevent a lot of noise.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.
My son elbowed me in the mouth during a tickle fight
But that's ok. It was acci-dental.
I inshtalled my shelf wrong and it fell on top of me, breaking my jaw. Now I shound weird.
I guesh I only have myshelf to blame.
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
This eye pun couldn't be any cornea.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
What hairstyle did Moses get at the hairdressers?
A middle parting.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle.
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
Now I have Heinzsight.
What do you call Bears without ears
B.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”