What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
How does a hairdresser stop themselves from cutting their own hair?
By sheer will.
A doctor walked into an exam room to see a patient with carrots sticking out his ears and broccoli up his nose.
The doctor said: “I can tell right away that you haven't been eating properly."
Rich people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
But polite french people are born with a s'il vous plaît.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
What do you call a giant gorilla with pean u t butter in one ear and Jam in the other?
Anything you want, he's not going to hear you!
"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.
"You need a bandana, not a banana!"
What do you call an eye that can fly?
A real eye soar.
Me and my ears hate badminton so much
It's making a racket.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
I can't hear out of my ear...
It's really EAR-itating.
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.
It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid.
How many ears does Spok have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear and The Final Frontier.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal sized clippers?
Shear size.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
What do you call an ear with no eyes
No-eyed ear
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
I got sick when I lost one of my ear buds.
It was mono.
If a T-Rex slipped and broke its nose would it would need a dinoplasty?
My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
The other day someone made fun of my ears for hanging down too far.
Lobe low, dude.
Wind carried the sound of two people mocking each other to my ears.
I was in diss-gust.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
Why is the nose in the middle of the face?
Because it's the scenter.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Piiig
I've never seen the inside of my ears...
But I've heard good things.
My wife made beef stew to clear my stuffed nose...
...bud I don'd dink it was strogonoff.
What do you call an Amish Man whose hand is in a horse’s mouth?
A mechanic.
My son elbowed me in the mouth during a tickle fight
But that's ok. It was acci-dental.
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement?
I think he just did it for a tin chin.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
I had a jaw-dropping experience.
Sadly, it was radium poisoning.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
I stumbled into a room where everyone's ears were missing.
I know it sounds EARy, but it wasn't.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
I tried to warn my son about the dangers of Russian roulette...
It went in one ear and out the other.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle.
What comes out of your nose at 200 mph?
Lambogreeny.
I don’t understand why ear biting is a fetish
Almost everyone eats corn.