My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ear pierced?
It's a buccaneer
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
Why can’t your ear be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
Thankfully evolution gave us ears a million years ago...
Now we finally get to use them to wear masks.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Piiig
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement?
I think he just did it for a tin chin.
What to you call a legume with facial hair?
A mustachio!
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
What do you call Bears without ears
B.
To all the people that don't cover their mouths then they cough.
You make me sick.
If a T-Rex slipped and broke its nose would it would need a dinoplasty?
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
My wife just now: Do men's ears actually work or are they just for decoration?
Me: 'What?'
Why was the man who hung tennis equipment from his ears arrested?
He was found guilty of racket-ear-ring
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
You can pick your friends or you can pick your nose...
but you can't pick your friend's nose.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
My eye doctor’s office is at the shopping mall.
She’s an Opthemallogist.
One ear of corn says to the other, “I think I have a stalker.”
The other corn replies, “Thats amaizing! Is he cute?” The ear replies, “No, too husky!”
I used to hate facial hair...
But then it grew on me.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
Some people think it's okay to wear your mask over your mouth while not covering your nose.
They're mouthbreathers.
I had a jaw-dropping experience.
Sadly, it was radium poisoning.
A person with a very blocked nose walks into a doctors office.
The doctor says: "So, you're having mucus problems?"
The person replies: "perhaps, perhaps snot.
What kind of facial hair should a sea captain have?
A boatee.
How many ears does Spok have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear and The Final Frontier.
What comes out of your nose at 200 mph?
Lambogreeny.
What’s the name of the Grim Reapers hair salon?
Curl up and dye.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s see salt.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
Bad puns are how eye roll.
What do you call a line of men out on the lawn, having sausages and waiting to have a haircut and shave?
A barber queue.
What makes your mouth sad?
A tongue depressor.
Why did the kid put the dinky car in his ear?
Because he wanted to give it a wax job.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
My little sister came to my room with a lighbulb in her mouth. I asked her "what in the world are you doing?"
She said "I'm having a light snack."
How do mountains hear?
with mountaineers.
I can cut a piece of wood with my own eyes just by looking at it
It's true, I saw it with my own eyes.
I inshtalled my shelf wrong and it fell on top of me, breaking my jaw. Now I shound weird.
I guesh I only have myshelf to blame.