What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.