What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.