Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.