Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!