Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.