What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.