What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!