What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!